Escaping My Old Life
by cityofthefaultinourdauntless
Summary: Clary was abused by her dad and Sebastion for two years, before they're caught and Clary goes to live with Jocelyn and Jonathon. When she starts her first day of school with Jonathon, Alec Lightwood and Jace Herondale seem to find this new girl mystifying. What is she hiding? Her scars. All human. A little OOC.
1. Chapter 1

Clary

_Beep! Beep! Beep! _I groaned, rolled over, and hit my alarm. I walked over to my closet, and picked out a pair of black skinny jeans, a light blue tank top, a black leather jacket, and a pair of black converses.

As I'm changing out of my pajamas, I see the scars on my stomach, sides, and legs, and arms. I quickly put on my outfit for today to cover them up. I straighten my hair and put it in a high ponytail. I walk down the stairs to the kitchen, and I see my mom standing at the stove, cooking pancakes. The smell of bacon hits me soon after.

"Bacon's on the table." She says, without turning around.

"Thanks mom!" I smile and walk over to the dining room. I see Jonathon, my older brother, and smile. I fill my plate with three pancakes, and seven pieces of bacon.

"How can you possibly eat that much and be that skinny? I have to work really, _really _hard to stay this skinny and I'm still fatter than you!" Jon says. I just stick my tongue out in response. I finish my breakfast and grab my backpack.

"I'm gonna go to school now mom. I want to get there early so I can get my schedule." I'm starting the same school as Jon this year, and I'm starting late. It's already November.

"Yeah, and I'm gonna go too, so I can practice my soccer. We have a game Thursday."

"Alright. I'll see you two tonight."

"Bye mom!" Jon and I say at the same time.

_PAGEEEE BREAKKKK_

"This is going to be a long walk." I sigh.

"You can ride with me," Jon says, "Just don't hurt my car in anyway possible." He drives a convertible and acts like it's his baby. I roll my eyes.

"I promise I won't."

"Okay."

_PAGEEEE BREAKKKK AGAINNN_

We make it to school (barely) and I look at the building I'm sitting in front of. It's a large building, and it just looks like a school.

I walk in the main doors into what I would guess is the office.

"Hi! I'm Clary and I'm new here."

"Oh Clary...? What is your last name miss?" The lady behind the desk asks. Her brown eyes hide behind thick glasses and her face is caked in make-up.

"Morgenstern- I mean Fray." I cringe at my old last name. My last name before I left... _them_. I push the two out of my head.

"Oh... Ms. Fray, here's your schedule, and your locker is locker 321. Your combination is 43-1-33. I hope you have a good day!"

I walk out of the office, looking at my schedule as I run into a something. Well, more of a some_one_. I look up, startled, and see black hair in my face.

"Sorry," I mumble. The hair is connected to a face with lot's of make-up, but not too much where it's ugly. She wears a tight black T-shirt with short white shorts. Black heels clack against the ground as she struggles to stand.

"It's okay, I should have been watching where I was going." She looks at me, and a confused look crawls onto her face.

"Are you new here? I don't think I've seen you before..." She trails on.

"Ya, todays my first day. I'm Clary Fray."

"Jonathon's little sister? He didn't say he had a sister...! Anyways, I'm Isabelle Lightwood. Pleasure to meet you." She holds out a hand. I see long, black finger nails.

"Yup, he's my big bro."

"I need to tell Kaelie! And Seelie! And Alec! And Jace! And Magnus! And Max! And Sebastion!" She keeps going with names, walking away. But I'm caught on the name Sebastion. An image pops into my head involuntarily. I see myself laying on the hardwood floors of my old house, my other brother, Sebastion, standing over me with one of father's belts. The image dies as the belt comes down on me. I shudder, and think _that wasn't even the worse day..._ I push all of the thoughts even remotely close to that out of my head.

I look closer at my schedule, and see the five core classes; math, ELA, social studies, science, and music. I sing in the choir. My two UA's (Unified Arts) are Art and Spanish.

1st hour: ELA with Mr. Robert

2nd hour: Art with Mrs. Maryse

3rd hour: Spanish with Mrs. Harnden

4th hour: Math with Ms. Rebecca

5th hour: Social studies with Mr. Starkwether

6th hour: Lunch

7th hour: Choir with Mr. Woodward

8th hour: Science with Mr. Stevens

"Hey Isabelle-"

"Call me Izzy."

"Hey _Izzy, _do you have any classes with me?" I show her my schedule.

"Yup! First, Fourth, Fifth, Lunch, Seventh, and Eighth. And Alec has Second and Third with you."

"Who's Alec?" I ask.

"Oh ya, he's my brother."

"Oh cool."

"Well I'm gonna go find my locker."

"What number is it?" Izzy asks.

"321."

"I had that one last year. It's on the left wing, all the way at the end. It's the last one."

"Oh, awesome! Thank you Iz. Maybe I could sit with you at lunch...?"

"Considering you have no other friends yet, sure."

"Hey Izzy!" A man with golden hair says from behind her.

"Hi Jace." She says, warily.

"Who's this you're talking to?" Jace asks, gesturing to me.

"I'm Clary. Clary Fray."

"No way! Jon never told me he had a sister!" He looks astounded.

"Ah, but he does." Jon says, walking up behind me, putting his arm on my shoulder.

"She looks nothing like you!" Izzy cries. It's true. I have strawberry shortcake hair, and he has ghost blonde hair. I have freckles, his face is clear. I have green eyes, he has brown ones. Jon looks just like Sebastion, but Sebastion had black hair that never fit him. And he's more muscular. And Sebastion has completely black eyes, not brown.

"We can all see that Iz." Jace says, and I laugh. I like guys with a sense of humor. He smirks at me. The first bell rings, and I know today is going to be interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Clary

I walk down the hallways of this _very _confusing new school, towards the left wing. I reach the final locker, all the way at the end of the hallway, and it's 321. I spill the lock, 43, 1, 33. I pull the trigger-like part up, but it won't open. I keep pulling, but it doesn't work. I slide to the ground and groan.

"I probably should of told ya, you can't open it by the handle. You gotta use some hip, girl!" Isabelle says, and slams her hip into the locker. It jumps open, like it's as surprised as me.

"Thanks," I mutter, putting everything in my locker but a pencil, a notebook, and an empty blue plastic folder. It's the three ring, two pocket kind. I shut my locker, and look up for Izzy, but she's already gone. _How did I not notice her walking away? I should have at least heard her heels..._

Confused, I stand up and walk towards room 112, ELA with Mr. Robert.

_PAGE BREAK_

Once I'm in room 112, I sigh. All seats have been taken except for the one by the teachers desk, and the one by Jace. I choose the one by the teachers desk. Jace smirks at me, and I think of how it looks like he does that a lot. I look over at the man behind the desk, and smile. I want to make a good first impression, but I'd rather not look like a goody-goody. So I put back on a neutral face and look at the teacher again. He looks to be in his late 30's, has light brown hair on his head, and a smile on his face.

The bell rings, and he looks around the room to do attendance. When he sees me, he gives me a questioning look.

"Who is this fine lady?" He asks, and the class laughs. _I guess he says this kind of thing quite often. This class could be fun. _

As I open my mouth, another voice from near the back speaks up.

"Her name is Clarissa Fray! She's Jonathon's brother!" Jace. I look around the room, and the entire class is looking at me with mouths wide. Except Izzy and Jace. Oh and Jonathon, he's two years older, but I'm still in his class. He looks embarrassed. I'm just very smart.

The teacher clears his throat, and the class focuses on him again.

"Well Clarissa, would you like to tell us about yourself and why you're starting late?" He asks, clearly expecting me to say yes.

"I would umm.. I'd rather not-"

"No need to be shy! Do it! Do it! Do it!" Jace starts chanting. I glare at him, and he just shouts louder.

"Fine. I'm Clarissa Fray, I'm an artist, and I started late because I moved in with my mom, because I had been living with my brother and father." I say.

"Why did you leave them?" Izzy asks.

"She won't even tell me. Only mom knows." Jon says.

"Please do tell." The teacher says. An agreement that I should goes through the class.

"You wanna know? I left because my father and brother abused me. My father would come home drunk and mad and beat me. My brother Sebastion would beat me too, and some nights he raped me! Are you happy now that you know?" My voice raises as I speak, and by the end I'm practically shouting. The class goes silent. They look down. The teacher mutters an 'I'm sorry' and I look at him.

"It's not your fault. It's theirs." I pick up my stuff. "I need to run to the bathroom. I'll be back." The teacher nods, but Izzy stands up.

"Do you know where they are?" I shake my head. I hadn't thought about that. "Then I'm going with you." She says, and walks over to me. She walks me out the door, down the hallway, to the left, right, and then we stand in front of the door to the bathroom. We walk in, and I go into a stall, set my stuff down and cry. I pinch myself, saying that I shouldn't be crying, because that's weak. But I can't stop the sobs racking my body. Finally I stand up, wipe the remaining tears off my cheeks, grab my stuff, and walk out of the stall.

Izzy is still standing there.

"Want help with reapplying your make-up?" She asks, and I'm caught on how normal it is.

"I didn't put any on this morning, but I could use some now. My eyes are really red." I laugh. This is what friends do for each other. Reapply each other's make-up after they cry.

Iz applies concealer, then dark eye shadow and mascara. I look at my face. The make-up Iz applied looks amazing.

"Izzy, it's gorgeous."

"Thanks, cosmetics are my thing."

_PAGE BREAK_

Jace

I gawk.

She was _abused?_

And she was _raped?_

I look over at Jon. He looks just as shocked as me.

"...And you didn't know?" I ask. I say the words slowly and carefully. I don't want to offend him.

"No. She said she didn't want to talk about it. And mom told me not to push it." He replies, looking at the table.

"I should've known. She was scared of me when I came near her, she was scared I was going to hurt her. We have a pool, but she wouldn't go in. She didn't want to show her scars. When you hugged her, or touched her sides, she'd whimper. I should've known. I can't believe it just now clicked." He has his head in his hands, and looks stressed.

"Jon, you couldn't have known. People who are abused hide it well." Mr. Robert says, warily, joining the conversation. I notice the entire class is silent. They're listening to what we're saying.

"Still, I feel like it's my fault." Jon sighs. No one talks for the next ten minutes. Clarissa and Izzy walk in then, and I'm surprised to see it, but they're smiling and laughing. They stop at the door, confused looks on their faces.

"Why is everyone so glum?" Clary's asked, like nothing happened.

"Uh, we might as well continue what I planned for today." Mr. Roberts says, a look flashes on his face showing he has no idea what he should do.

_This girl is... different._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Clary

Once ELA is finished, I walk to art. I'm really excited. Art is my thing, it's my life, it's my everything. I walk to class, and smile. I see a tall women, wearing a white, paint splattered long sleeve shirt, dark jeans, and sneakers. She smiles from her desk at me, and walks over to where I'm standing.

"Hi! You must be the new student, Clarissa. I'm Ms. Maryse. Nice to meet you." She wipes her hands on the side of her shirt and extends it.

"Ya! I love art too, but I'm not so sure about my skills." I gush.

"Alright, well today will be easy. We just started a new project of making a painting of any one who inspires you. We're just brainstorming who it is and how we'll draw it." I smile. I already know who I'm going to draw.

"This sounds fun!"

I look around the room for a familiar face. I spot Alec, Jace, and someone who looks scary like Sebastion. _No, he couldn't be here, he couldn't have found me. _I start to go light headed and dizzy, so I sit down in the seat next to Alec.

"Hi, who's that guy with the white hair over there?" I point to Sebastion's look-alike. Alec looks at me and smirks.

"Does someone have a crush?"

"NO! I just want to know who he is." I whisper-shout.

"Oookaayyyy... he's Sebby." Sebby? _Sebby? Oh, I feel like I'm gonna throw up. _

_"_Class is starting!" The teacher says. I push down the throw up, and get to work. I mean, Sebastion could be a common name in this town.

* * *

_Time skip. Halfway through class._

We started getting ready for the new project, but I already know who I'm doing, so I decided to doodle. I didn't even watch what I was drawing, I just drew. After twenty minutes, I look at my drawing. It's a picture of my father, Valentine, my brother, Sebastion, and me. I'm laying on the floor, with the two towering over me, my father holding a knife, my brother, fists out. The mirror behind me is shattered, and the glass is laying around me. The teacher walks past me, and sees the picture.

"This scene is horrid, but this drawing is beautifully done. This is gorgeous." She picks up my paper to show the class.

"This is true skill. I hope by the end of the year all of you can draw like this." The bell rings. "Class dismissed." Ms. Maryse shouts.

I walk out, face red.

"That drawing was scary, Clary. Who was that?" Alec asks me as I'm walking out.

"Ask any one in my ELA class, I'm sure they'd love to gossip about it." I sound and feel bitter, I wish I wouldn't have told the class. Alec raises an eyebrow, and I groan.

"Why can everyone raise only one eyebrow, but me?"

* * *

_Another Time Skip._

After Spanish, Math, and SS, I'm beat.

In Spanish, the teacher will only speak Spanish because they've been working on Spanish for over a month and they should know some of it. I don't know any Spanish.

In math, I don't even know what we're doing. Like, at all.

In Social Studies, we're going over the Holocaust, and our teacher is making us read 'The Book Thief'. I've heard it's really good, but we have to read it in three days.

Three.

Short.

Days.

I'm just ready for food.

And the weekend.

As I walk into the cafeteria, the smell of bacon hits me, and I'm spinning to find it. I spot it in the lunches the school is serving.

"It may smell good, but it sure doesn't taste good Clare." I hear a voice whisper in my ear. As the warm breath hits my neck, a shiver runs down my spine. I know this voice. I turn to see Sebastion's look-alike, who happens to be named Sebby.

"My name is Clary, and who are you?" I ask, glaring at him.

"I'm Sebastion Verlac. Charmer of woman. I promise a good time to any lady. But I'd prefer to go to my house. I don't want family to interrupt." He smiles at me, and it's a creepy, perverted smile.

"Okay, cool, now get away from me, please."

"You're pretty." He says, ignoring me, and messing with my hair.

"Please get away from me." I say, swatting at his hand. He catches my wrist and pulls me to him.

"Just give Sebby a kiss. Just a small kiss." He says, his hands moving to my waist. I put my hands to his chest and push hard.

"Get away from me!" I raise my voice. "Jon! Jonathon! Help!" I shout. Half the cafeteria turns to look and Jon marches over to us.

"Get your hands off my little sister, or I swear I will hunt you down and kill you, stabbing you multiple times." He seethes.

"Hey, I was just playing." He puts his hands up in surrender, but laughs. "And she'll love me. Just you wait." Sebastion says, and walks away.

"Are you okay? Did he do anything? Do Jace and I have to beat him to a pulp? Because we will." Jon says, anger in his eyes.

"Yes, I am okay. He jus tried to kiss me, but I was scared he was going to be like our other brother, Sebastion, and rape me. I'm sorry, I hope I didn't embarrass you." I say. He pulls me against his chest.

"It'll be okay, it'll all be okay." He cooed.

I wanted to believe him, I did.

I couldn't though.

Things were not going to be okay.

I knew that for certain.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Clary

After picking at my lunch, I walk back to my locker, slamming my hip into it like Izzy showed me. The locker springs open, and I grab my music I was handed in the office this morning - I didn't get to look at what it was - and head to choir. It only takes me five minutes after class started to find the class, and when I got there I was welcomed by the teacher, Mr. Woodward.

"Good afternoon Clarissa! We were just warming up. Since today is your first day, I'll let you warm up out in the hallway and when you finish you can sing to us so we know where to place you." He explains, cheerily.

"I'm not very great at solos." I say, looking at my feet.

"Well, this is a performance based class, so you at least have to let me hear one solo. But if you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to do it, ever again." I nod, and walk back out to the hallway. I sing the B flat scale, and Titanium. I walk back into the room and take a deep breath.

"I'm going to sing Radioactive."

"_I'm waking up,_

_to ash and dust,_

_I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust,_

_I'm breathing in, _

_the chemicals._

_Woah._

_I'm breaking in,_

_shaping up,_

_then checking out on the prison bus._

_This is it._

_The apocalypse._

_I'm waking up._

_I feel it in my bones._

_Enough, _

_to make,_

_my systems blow (**or glow if that's what you think it is. I'm really not sure**)_

_Welcome to the new age._

_to the new age_

_welcome to the new age_

_to the new age_

_woah-oh-oh_

_woah-oh-oh_

_I'm Radioactive_

_Radioactive."_

I finish there, and every one's staring at me wide-eyed.

_I knew I was bad, but I didn't think I was _that _bad. _

Suddenly, every one's clapping. Mr. Woodward walks up to me, and he has a large smile on his face.

"That's the best voice I've heard in years!" He exclaims. A girl in the back dressed in a skirt shorter than my middle finger and a shirt that doesn't even reach her belly button but goes down in a v much farther than it should makes a disgusted sound.

"Really? I think she should go back to her crap family - you know, the one we heard about with the rapists and abusers - and see if they find that good. Because I honestly think that was the worst singing ever. You're crap no matter what you do! I understand why your family couldn't stand you now. If you would just kill yourself every one would be happy." Each word hit me as hard as a car. I hear people gasp and say things like 'Gosh Seelie!' and 'You tell that attention whore'. I ran out the room and down to the bathroom before I could hear any thing else they could say. I go to where I thought the bathrooms were but find myself lost, in a dead ended hallway with no windows. I slide down the wall.

I don't know why I even tried coming to this school. I should've done online school. I pull my knees up to my chest, and let a few tears escape my eyes. No, I tell myself. You survived abuse, and rape. You can survive high school. I lift my head up, and start to stand up when I see a figure in front of me.

"Hey Clary. I'm back." It's his voice_. _I see white hair, and all I can think is _they've found me. They've found me._ I push myself deeper against the wall.

"I'm sorry I told them Sebastion. I didn't know I'd see you again! Please, if you have any mercy big brother, don't tell father. I'll do anything." I sound desperate, but that's because I am. If father knows where I am it's going to be much worse. Sebastion is bad by himself, but add Valentine and I don't think I can survive the punishment of running away.

"What? Babe I know you love me but I'm confused. What would I tell your dad? That you've been naughty?" Embarrassment washes over me as Sebastion walks closer and I notice it's the Sebastion from school.

"I'm s-sorry. I thought y-you were m-my b-big brother." I stutter, embarrassed beyond belief.

"Are you scared of me? Are you _afraid?" _He asks, smirking and moving closer to me. Sebastion is only six feet away.

"You don't know what afraid is." I murmur.

"Don't murmur!" Sebastion says, grabbing my chin. I'm forced to look him in the eye. "Now what did you say?"

"Nothing." I say. My chin is let go and my head is snapped to the side. He slapped me. He is my Sebastion. But he's been calm. How could this be the Sebastion who raped me if he can be so calm?

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" He shouts at me.

"I SAID YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT AFRAID IS!" I shout back.

"Why would you say that?" He asks, confusion in his eyes.

"Because. I was raised being abused. I know what fear is. It's knowing that you messed up and when you get home, your rib will probably be broken and brother will probably rape you. Being afraid, is knowing that you will always see that burning hatred in your fathers eyes. BEING AFRAID IS KNOWING YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF ANY OF THIS CHANGING. KNOWING YOU WILL FOREVER BE YOUR FAMILIES PUNCHING BAG. KNOWING THAT TO TRUST IS TO DESTROY, AND TO BE TRUSTED IS TO BE DESTROYED." I shout. Sebastion looks surprised, but quickly a smug grin comes back on his face.

"I've been waiting for a girl who's not a virgin. I don't wanna have to teach the girls I'm with. And hey, you even are used to being raped! This should be easy." He pushes me against the wall. I feel the fear I felt when father wasn't home and brother was mad at me. I close my eyes. Fighting always makes it worse.

He slides his hands up my shirt, and I do what I always do when I'm raped.

I go to the happy place inside my head and hope it ends soon.


End file.
